Jacquie®

 

 It's almost the time of the year for Kadayawan. I've noticed that I havent spent time going to the gym anymore. The last time I went was December of last year! Imagine how much weight I've put on. So I contacted my gym buddies who I havent seen for quite sometime now. We were so busy with our lives that we have forgotten what it was like when we used to go to gym. So I made a campaign for us three to hit the gym again. But to my dismay, hahaha, we only opted for coffee right beside our gym. Janet's travelling to CDO, Joel's been busy with his career as the Dean, and I, well I'm travelling to Manila again sometime this August. So I guess Kadayawan gimmicks is out of the question now.

So i havent written enough entries for 2006. Which means to say that it was boring. Hope this year keeps its promise...

Last night, I was at this coffee shop alone waiting for my sister finish her massage. Being alone let's you sit around and just watch people. You get the best customer service too. They must have thought that I was a loser. Thanks for the wifi connection that kept me company with my laptop. Then came this guy and said that I skipped gym just to do overtime work at the coffee shop, duh, as if friendster and yahoo chat is work. And later found out that he was alone too. I wasnt the only loser that time, thank goodness. I am not comfortable being alone with a lot of people around, mostly when they are laughing their butts out and talking endlessly. I thought of inviting the guy who talked to me earlier to come sit with me, but then not. And there goes my "Bayot" syndrome as what my friend Janice calls it. Though i've talked to him a couple of times at the gym, we still dont know each others name. And so I thought that it was "time" to at least ask for his name as an excuse. But it never happened. I am nice (really?), but i just feel awkward being friendly. But I really tried, for the past month, I guess I've made like a dozen of friends already. Or maybe I'm just afraid of being rejected? What if he thinks im too forward? What if he doesn't talk at all? What if he's just not interested and just wants to be alone? What if he feels that I think he's a loser and feel bad? A lot of what ifs. When my sister was done, and I was driving home, it made me realize how different I am from 2 years ago. Whenever I think of what ifs before was "What if i dont get the chance again?", so I usually grab every oppurtunity I have just to do something, which made me somehow fulfilled, careerwise, in lovelife, friends, etc. But of course, those are risks. I've failed a lot of times too, but then again, as what my father tells me, nothing will ever happen if you don't do something about it. Which is actually true.

OMG! It's already August and I havent updated my blog yet. Anyways, so much has happened. I've been going to the gym for over a month now. I've been trying boxing, and i now know how Judy Ann Santos got her figure. I've been working on a project and its all that I can think of everytime. I need to to this, i need to get this, i need to grow this!

So Kadayawan is coming again, I still have been wanting to befriend that guy at the gym, such a cutie. Hehehe, he plays poker too, that's what i heard from him while he was talking to his phone.

I went Scuba Diving with my old friend Michael at Paradise Beach Resort last Sunday. I underestimated the site coz ive already been to places like bohol and cebu which I consider to have the best diving spot in the Philippines. But I was wrong. When I got 30 feet underwater (just 30 feet!), whew, there were a lot of fishes and a very clean sanctuary. I could just lay down the seabed and watch the cast of finding nemo pass before me. What made me mad was we forgot to bring an underwater camera, saaaaaaaad.

I got tired of my hair. When I got my first rebonding, it was great, but when it grew 5 inches, i needed a new rebond which made my hair so baaaaaaad. Now I have a shorter hair just like before. Choy na sad ko!

After a month of absence in the gym, I finally decided to make a come back. I signed up for the kickboxing class, but got out after 19 minutes. Embarassing! I almost fainted. I could not breath and my lungs felt like theyre about to explode. I felt the nicotine stretching in my lungs as I've grasped for more air. I made an excuse to drink water and went back to the locker room. I sat on the couch grasping for air. Whew, and I thought I was drowning. It made me think that I should quit smoking. QUIT. But I cannot. I may but I just can't, as for the moment. I should be swimming again, to exercise my poor lungs. Yes, tomorrow I will start doing my laps.

 

I had a wierd feeling at the gym. I remember when I was in college that I was a shy type. While doing threadmill, guess who was next to me? It was my college crush. He was a med student clerk for surgery when I was a senior. I used to wear a happy smile whenever I walked the surgery ward back then. He wore aqua di gio for men while I was wearing aqua di gio for women. We would often chat and I would unknowingly stare at his beautiful red lips. Hahaha. Seeing him earlier made me feel very innocent and very young again. We didnt talk nor said hi, I felt awkward. Seeing him in such a great shape! Whew! And a certified MD. Ok, the drag is, when I walked right beside him, he's only an inch taller than me. Tsk tsk.

Born under the Sun in Sagittarius, you possess inexhaustible supplies of enthusiasm and optimism. Your powerful mind gives you additional energy and supports your authority. You easily handle interactions with people from different social groups. A combination of self-assurance and amiability allows you to efficiently communicate with laborers and top government officials alike. You have a healthy sense of humor and are not afraid of self-irony yet you definitely can't stand back-slapping familiarity, which you consider offensive. You draw many of your features from your ruler Jupiter. Like this god of gods, you are protective of your subordinates and ruthless with your enemies. At the time of peace you can afford being kind and generous, but once your social status is endangered, you never fail to apply your concealed power. Leadership must be yours and you never bother asserting your rights, even using uncivilized methods. You are always preoccupied with extending your sphere of influence, trying subconsciously to be an example for everyone around. Your trust in your destiny is unshakable. Your mobility allows an easy adaptation to the changes of your environment and, that way, prevents psychological traumas. You rarely act recklessly and prefer subtle manipulation instead. Having reached a high social rank, you represent an immense power. Many are unhappy about it and you may have lots of powerful foes. You are too straightforward and, like the God of Thunder residing within you, are not inclined to forgive other peoples' faults. You will certainly throw at them the bolts of your sarcasm or directly intervene in their doings in order to correct their faults. Yet only negative qualities that endanger your prestige bother you while the people who offer no threat or challenge are hardly noticed. Always open to contact, you often debate so-called matters of principle. You often win the most complicated battles through well-reasoned arguments, concealing your failure under pride and conceit in case you lose. You need to feel important and be part of a great cause. Like any other idealistic person you never make a secret of your predilections. Even being an inveterate atheist, you turn atheism into your god or idol that you worship with the same religious zeal. You make effort to acquire followers, often without actually knowing what awaits you and those who trust you behind the next turn of the path. The idea of a path often means to you more than the path itself. In wartime, this approach is justified - a commander should have a nose for victorious tactics and inspire the confidence of his soldiers on the eve of the battle - but it becomes questionable in daily routine.

You are as a person full of responsibility in meeting obligations undertaken. You are perfectly fit for a consultant or intermediary job, have a talent for giving appropriate advice, carrying on negotiations and finding a relieving compromise in any situation. Your ability to find understanding with total strangers helped you more than once both in professional and everyday life. You feel at ease both in face-to-face contacts and in front of a large audience.

Your generous and optimistic nature often draw others to you. You easily start relationships and have a taste of life. Your character features excellent social adaptability, a philosophical approach to life and love of travel. You are capable of seeing the big picture and expanding the sphere of your influence.

You are easily impressed and awed. You love and understand artistic and mystical creations. You often indulge in daydreaming and the building of air castles. To build a real one you lack will power and endurance, as you are a soft and idealistic person, not the fighting type. Facing a hard choice you tend to drift with the tide, escape the cruel world by submerging into your dreams, no wonder you rarely benefit from the outcome. Even people close to you have a hard time understanding what kind of person you are. Sometimes it is not obvious even to yourself yet you like to wrap yourself with a shroud of mystique. You have an ear for music. Virtues like clemency and empathy are not foreign words for you. You like and value loneliness. One cannot say yours is an outstanding personality. You can be sloppy, and it harms your business. You are a slave to your habits. If one of them takes over, you basically can never get rid of it.

You are an independent, courageous and determined person, persistent and steady in achieving your objectives. At the same time, your wild imagination and pioneering spirit prevent you from following a single way and concentrating on a particular activity; they either drag you on adventurous journeys, or suddenly involve you in something new and unusual. You often act in an impulsive way and with precipitation. Adventurous, brave and independent people greatly attract you. With their support you would welcome any challenge. Even uncertain about the final success, you would still not be diverted from your purpose and try to conceal your uncertainty beneath assumed aggressiveness. Never vindictive, you can fly into a rage instantly and calm down the next moment. You may be utterly unwilling to obey rules or submit to directions. Your ideal relationship is an interaction based on mutual respect and some emotional distance. You hate emotional parasitism, whiners and outsiders interfering with your business. Your feelings are always in full display, and once you lose patience, your violence would have no equal. Your weakness for hot food only heats up your inner fire, so if there is a situation you need to stay cool in, you should be careful about your diet.

You get easily acquainted but easily break up relationships, too. There is always a peril that you may err choosing your friends or end dependent on them. You know how to get things running and have no prejudices. You are objective and unbiased, yet you change your interests too often in accordance with your friends' opinions. Among your friends can be found renowned people and even celebrities who contribute to your popularity and publicity. Your own demand of social contacts you satisfy by involvement in diverse organizations and club memberships. Your true family is not relatives but friends who share your ideas and whose opinion you pay attention to when you face an important decision. Magnanimity, empathy, kindness and optimism are the qualities that others feel good about. You are getting special support from women. An excellent social adaptability allows you to extend your life space. You are a family person who knows the worth of love and likes to stay home in comfort. You manage your business well and, thanks to that, increase your wealth and authority. You are quite a naive optimist in philosophical questions. You often are short of confidence and optimism. Your own mistakes and omissions cause a lot of painful worrying and contribute to an inferiority complex. The atmosphere is somewhat gloomy in your family. The relations between family members are based on duty. You fail to feel free and unbounded. Out of fear of pain and disappointment, you keep everyone at a distance from your inner world. You are timid and helpless in front of even the simplest challenge. At such a time, you are a source of depressions for others, too, and they find you boring. You are very sensitive in regard to any criticism or judgments on your personality but stay cold and quiet outwardly. The relationship between your parents may have been clouded at the time of your birth. You apparently have to put up with modest living conditions or care for older relatives. You can be called a person of duty and honor, as you are capable of sacrificing your private interests for an idea.

You have an acute instinct and psychic abilities. You are inclined to excessive idealism and sensitivity, and lack pragmatism. Music, paintings and poetry attract you.

People Envy Your Ingenuity

You're a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to you for inspiration. People envy your creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to you - and they usually are!

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships. You want to be with someone who's a success. A person with the right job, right family, right clothes... In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so. A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

On our way to Bohol with my family, we took the longest route than the shortest which is by plane. Travel to CDO from Davao took 5 hours, (and so I did it again), then a boat ride with a roro boat, which we thought was only five hours was actually 12 freakin hours! Whenever I travel, I usually go for a "Worry Free" travel, pack a few important things and a lotta fun fun fun! But this was diffrent. My mom packed a very huge bag! While my sister brought a rolling maleta and so did my brother and cousin. Duh, as if they would be away for a month, while I only packed my luis vuitton travel bag.

At Cagayan pier going to Tagbilaran, we almost missed our boat, but we ran out of the better accomodation, so we have to settle for the economy. It was our first time and it was a hassle. But it was good for me thought coz i'm not maarte and it makes it more adventurous. What bothered me is my Mom and sister who are like royalties who complained everytime, it really spoiled the trip!

But anyways, when we got to Bohol, it was better, I can't believe that the resorts there are not as much costly than in Davao, but they have way better beaches! Panglao, the place to be... Hehehe, It was like boracay yet the place is much bigger and not that isolated.

May is the feast month of Bohol, so anywhere we went, there were lotsa people. I met a lot of cousins whom I never knew existed.

The trip was fun, and i intend to go again next year, minus the hassles. Hehehe.

I VOW to make last night the last GIMIK night for the year. I know its impossible but it's coming back now. I get bored already. I see the same faces everytime. And still nothing wonderful happends except for a moment of being high with alcohol, which later on turns into delirium. Eeeew!

I know that it's the set of friends that you're with that makes it worthy, but even if i'm with the right crowd, I still get bored. It gets so predictable. I'm getting tired of the anxiety I get in choosing what to wear, putting make up, and smiling to people I just met. Am I getting older again? Hahaha, I know my life sucks and I'm bored. I want something new, something passionate to do.

It's 12 noon, just finished lunch and i don't know where to start. What the heck, I'm watching Da Vinci Code tonight. Compile the topics to study, get my transcripts, go to the gym.... I'm disorganized as hell!

 

Listening to house of stone...

I've always wanted to write about my new hobby. My fishes! I've had 2 pets before, when I was in grade school and when I was in highschool. I had a baby poodle, he died when I bathed him with alcohol just to get rid of the  smell. Next I had a dachshund, he died with polio. Now I have several fishes. I have a flowerhorn for my freshwater, and almost the "Finding Nemo" characters for the saltwater. It's been a month now and they're doing great! Well except for Dory who forgot to breathe (she suffered from short term memory loss, hehehe), but mind you I really cried! And I thought that they're not that hard to maintain coz they only live in the tank, but i was wrong. It's expensive but really worth it. For now I am keeping my tanks simple until I become an expert.

After a week of staying at home, I thought that my life will be the same again. No more Saturday night life... Yes! But I was wrong, come wednesday this week, a friend from Manila texted me saying he's in town and wants me to take him out on Friday, but without thinking twice I said yes! Duh! And now, not wanting to be late again, I showered earlier than usual so I could dry my hair before wearin make up. It's Saturday night ok? And again... going out

 

Not to mention the parties happening in town this weekend. hmmm... Last night we went to 3 bars, all we did was laugh. Oh well, I wish something good's coming tonight...

Finally! My favorite game, way back 8-10 years ago is finally a movie. I can'tt wait to watch it to see if it could meet my expectations and wonder how they could actually make the horror game into a movie.

 

For some delicious trailer:

It started with the movie Stigmata, then Dan Brown's books, then gospel of thomas, then the gospel of Judas... What could be next? As my family celebrates the Holy Week this year, my mom and I always end up fighting about catholicism and its rituals. I am do believe in God, it's just that i dont do the rituals. I always talk to God in silence.

As i've watched the gospel of judas on National Geographic, it makes me think even harder. Not that I question my faith in God, there are a lot of beliefs around. It's just that I believe that he exists. Roman catholism, is even more stronger than the politics today. That's it.

Vodka Tonic - 4

Margarita - 2

Bathroom Trips - 6

 

Friday night with Ricky was fun and wild. My gimik day, Saturday, well, I think i'm gonna behave.

"When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay. When you want me, but do not need me, then I have to go." Nanny McPhee

 

It's like "the more you ignore me, the closer i get". But i understand it more of like staying by somebody's side no matter what. Or more like making someone like you but when you got them just as you want them, then you lose interest.

But I sure wish that I could be someone's End of the Story

I have never felt so low my entire life. Having to deal with empty promises and compromise. It's been weeks that I could not think lightly just because of people who gives me promises that they'd pay me what they owe. I now vow that I won't be lending money to people anymore. The least favor that they could give me is reach me when they can't pay on time. I hate people who are shameless. What the hell am i talking about here? I'm losing my mind now.

So much for this internet connection problem. Smart Wifi is terrible! I did have free months of service that gave me 2Mbps but after that, horrifying! Billing issues, with technically not feasible technical support, and bad connection. And still they have the guts to advertise that they're good! False advertising. If only they could deliver what they promise, then the world would be a better place! Last night I had 1kbs of download speed, and now, my yahoo disconnects every two minutes. What the heck! I'm not recommending it anymore. Grrrr!