Last night, I was at this coffee shop alone waiting for my sister finish her massage. Being alone let's you sit around and just watch people. You get the best customer service too. They must have thought that I was a loser. Thanks for the wifi connection that kept me company with my laptop. Then came this guy and said that I skipped gym just to do overtime work at the coffee shop, duh, as if friendster and yahoo chat is work. And later found out that he was alone too. I wasnt the only loser that time, thank goodness. I am not comfortable being alone with a lot of people around, mostly when they are laughing their butts out and talking endlessly. I thought of inviting the guy who talked to me earlier to come sit with me, but then not. And there goes my "Bayot" syndrome as what my friend Janice calls it. Though i've talked to him a couple of times at the gym, we still dont know each others name. And so I thought that it was "time" to at least ask for his name as an excuse. But it never happened. I am nice (really?), but i just feel awkward being friendly. But I really tried, for the past month, I guess I've made like a dozen of friends already. Or maybe I'm just afraid of being rejected? What if he thinks im too forward? What if he doesn't talk at all? What if he's just not interested and just wants to be alone? What if he feels that I think he's a loser and feel bad? A lot of what ifs. When my sister was done, and I was driving home, it made me realize how different I am from 2 years ago. Whenever I think of what ifs before was "What if i dont get the chance again?", so I usually grab every oppurtunity I have just to do something, which made me somehow fulfilled, careerwise, in lovelife, friends, etc. But of course, those are risks. I've failed a lot of times too, but then again, as what my father tells me, nothing will ever happen if you don't do something about it. Which is actually true.